Episode Transcript
[00:00:02] Speaker A: Hello everybody. What an amazing first season we've had on this podcast. I want to thank you all for joining me. So far, I've already had the opportunity to talk with some of the brightest people in the field. I'm so thankful that I can use this platform as a way to share their knowledge. I'm a pretty seasoned sex therapist and I still learn something new with every guest I have, which means I know you are as well. Before we get into the season's highlights, I want to remind you again to follow and subscribe. I have some exciting things planned for next season, one of which is a rebrand, including a change to the name of the podcast. This means that unless you subscribe, you might not find me by searching for sex and love. If you're listening on Apple, open the podcast and then click the three little dots on the top right side where you'll see the button to follow. If you're a Spotify person, go to the podcast and punch follow under the podcast title. And if you're on another platform, try to figure it out. It's 2021, I know you can do it. Remember, I need sponsors to keep the show going, and the best way to get sponsors is by having lots of followers and subscribers share with a friend who might need to learn a thing or two. I know you have one. Okay, without further ado, here's a little recap of the season's highlights. In my most popular episode to date, I chatted with one of my college professors, Doctor Cindy Mestin, who is an expert in female sexual arousal. She actually wrote a whole book about the 237 distinct reasons why women have sex.
[00:01:38] Speaker B: Women are attending to their environment so much more than men are. So in order to feel sexually aroused, it's not just attending to the genitals and the immediacy of that physical urge. You know, everything needs to be kind of right.
The cat hasn't been fed or the laundry hasn't been folded, or there's so many distractions in the environment, relational issues. If things aren't really good in the relationship, women have a harder time setting that aside for sexual gratification.
[00:02:14] Speaker A: I chatted with Doctor Justin Le Miller about the secret world of sexual fantasies. And turns out pretty much everybody has dirty little thoughts.
[00:02:23] Speaker C: So I surveyed more than 4000 Americans. They came from all 50 states. I asked them about their favorite fantasy and the things that they fantasized about at one time or another. There were really three main things that almost everybody had fantasized about before. One of them was multi partner sex. So just doing something with more than one other person at a time. So that could be a threesome or orgy or something larger. The second theme was BDsm. So anything relating to power, control and rough sex. And then the other big theme was novelty. So just doing something that is new and different.
[00:02:59] Speaker A: Doctor Barry McCarthy and I dove into the complex world of sexual desire. And guess what, you guys. One in two couples struggle with this, but there is hope.
[00:03:09] Speaker D: Desire is the most common sexual problem among american couples. And whether it's low desire or desire discrepancies, it affects one out of two relationships. So it's important to not feel that you're alone in this.
[00:03:22] Speaker A: I think everyone thinks the neighbors are having better sex, and that's everybody's having better sex than you, whether you like it or not. Relationship norms are changing. I spoke with therapist and author Martha Koppy about her research in polyamory. Her study debunked so many myths. She also gave some great advice about how to negotiate non monogamy with your partner, for instance.
[00:03:44] Speaker E: All those things that my study debunked, it can't possibly last. Another relationship will destroy the intimacy between the two of us. Or you only want that because you're looking for a way to break up. Or this is just a coercive way to take advantage of me so that I do all the childcare and you go out and have all the fun, and I never get what I want out of our relationship.
[00:04:05] Speaker A: In one of my favorite interviews, I think because I learned so much, I spoke with Miranda Galbraith, who explained what leads someone to become a sex offender. It was a tough conversation, but one I think everybody needs to listen to. As much as we might not want to admit it, you need to keep your eye on the people close to you more than you do on the guy in the white van.
[00:04:26] Speaker F: Children are vulnerable, and they're easily accessible, and they trust you, and they're easily confused about what's okay and what's not okay. And often adults don't believe them. When they report something is generally the person who's victimizing them is someone who's known to them and someone who is trusted. And so when someone goes to their mom and says, grandpa touched me in a way that doesn't seem right, mom may not believe them because the person who's doing the harming is someone that they know and trust.
[00:05:02] Speaker A: This is just a snapshot of all the topics I've covered so far. I have a content calendar so big planned for next season. I don't know how I'll do it all. But I am determined. Help me out by following, subscribing and sharing with a friend. I look forward to what's coming, and I know you will too.
