Episode Transcript
[00:00:01] Speaker A: Have you ever had the experience of waking up and feeling like you no longer recognize your partner or the relationship you're in? Maybe you look back and realize you've been bickering nonstop for the past couple of years. It's almost a guarantee that couples in long term relationships will go through periods of disconnection.
[00:00:19] Speaker B: But what can couples do to get.
[00:00:21] Speaker A: Their relationship back on track?
[00:00:23] Speaker B: That's the topic of today's episode.
[00:00:26] Speaker A: I'm joined by sex and relationship therapist Stephanie Flood. Not only is she an expert in the field, she.
[00:00:31] Speaker B: She's been married for 37 years and has four kids with her husband Sean.
[00:00:36] Speaker A: Without further ado, let's dive in. Stephanie Flood, welcome to the show.
[00:00:42] Speaker C: Thank you so much for having me.
[00:00:44] Speaker A: I am so thrilled you're here. You know, we were chatting a little bit before I hit the record on what specifically to narrow our conversation down to, and I'll let you tell your story, but you have been married for a long time, you have a lot of kids. And, you know, as someone who has that life experience and also works as a sex and relationship therapist, I'm like, we just got to talk about reconnection after periods of disconnection. So that is going to be the topic of today's episode. But before we get into it, Stephanie, tell me a little bit about you and how you got into the field.
[00:01:20] Speaker C: So I always tell people, like, you don't become therapists because stuff was normal growing up. And so my parents are very deeply religious and they really had some very strong feelings about me.
And I would say, like, now that I'm a little bit older, like, looking back on it, I would say it was definitely like an evangelical kind of theme.
So the messaging around intimacy, relationships, marriage, it was a very, it was very much on that path.
So Sean comes into my life at 15 and sort of blew that all out the window. He did not come from religious, a religious family.
And. Yes, and we started dating at 15 and we ended getting married at 22 and got married mostly because my parents said we couldn't live together till we got married. So we were like, we'll get married. Yeah, probably seems like a reasonable idea. And he ended up. And this was probably the best thing that happened to us. He was not done with college yet. He was going to school in Boston. We ended up moving from California to Boston. And we, you know, we kind of just did a lot of growing up. Even as a young married couple, we were not all that independent. His parents were really, really supportive and did a lot. Still do to the. A lot for us.
And we did not have children. We at least made the commitment that we were going to, you know, basically not. Not enter into parenthood for quite some time. So I actually, for college, ended up with a theater arts degree because, again, I was a little left to my own devices. And no one really said, like, go to college or, like, do, like. So my best friend Sabrina, like, said, we should go to college. And I was like, okay. She was like, join a sorority. I was like, okay.
Arts majors. Well, all right. That seems fun. Yeah. So I graduated from college. Sean and I get married. And Sean was like, you know, you're gonna, like, need a real degree.
Like, I don't know what you're doing with the cedar thing, but we're gonna need, like. So a couple years go by. I end up with a. I end up. We end up moving back to California, and I end up with a degree. A master's degree in counseling psychology. And it really did come out of the idea of, like, I. It's a field that I'm fascinated by. I'm fascinated by couples and people's stories. And the idea around relationships and sex in particular came from this idea at the time of, like, I got a lot of weird messaging, like, as a kid, and I'm sure other people have probably gotten some weird messaging or no messaging. And so it really came out of that. So started private practice. By that point, we're in our 30s, so we decided that was when the time would be to have some babies. We had four babies in five years. We tell people all the time because we didn't know how that worked. And by the fourth one, he was like, dude, I can't afford all these kids. And you keep the expensive model, which we have three girls and one boy. Oh, yeah. And so I was having these babies. He's working. I'm running my own private practice. And the theme, for the most part, like, what I started, was kind of couples. But again, it just kept shifting into that idea of, like, how to stay connected, how to have kids and a life and a career and all this stuff and still stay, you know, committed to your spouse.
[00:05:23] Speaker A: Right.
[00:05:24] Speaker C: Connected with your spouse, be friends with your spouse, like, all that kind of stuff. So that. And it. It's just taken off from there. It's been 15 years now in private practice, and it's a subject that I love. I feel passionate about. I feel passionate about wanting couples to feel good through their whole marriage.
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[00:06:30] Speaker A: And, you know, you've been with him for so long, and so I would love to hear from you. You know, as much as you're comfortable, you know, if there have been times in your marriage where you kind of look up and you're like, oh, my gosh, we are living like two ships passing in the night. Because I think a lot of times people think of conflict or relationship betrayal and that being like a wake up call. But sometimes you just wake up and you're like, gosh, it just feels like we're living these parallel lives. And so I would love to hear a little bit from you, you know, if and how that has happened in your own relationship and what kinds of things you do to get back on track and how you help couples who may be dealing with that.
[00:07:07] Speaker C: Yeah. So I think we really, for us personally hit kind of a whoa moment right around our 15th wedding anniversary. He will say, I blacked out in my 30s. Like, I have no. He does not remember having four kids. Yeah, I woke up and I was 40. We had all kids and got some dogs. And he was like, whoa. And that was right around, like, it was a little past the 15th. But I would say, like, if I could pinpoint it, 15 years was about the time we're like, oh, we're not. We're actually not in good shape. Our disconnect is, you know, it. A lot of couples will go into sort of quiet mode where they're. There's nothing particularly wrong per se. They're not necessarily talking.
[00:07:55] Speaker A: Right.
[00:07:56] Speaker C: They're not connecting sexually. They're. Again, yeah, they're like, they're roommates. Like, it's all fine. Sean and I are very outgoing people and we are going to let each other know real quick if we are kind of with the opposite direction. And we were just butting heads, like, constantly. We would just constantly have conflict with each other and be irritated with each other and that also create some disconnect. So, interestingly enough, that went on for a good couple years, and then the pandemic happened. And like, many couples are now stuck in your house with your spouse, and you thought, oh, God, I can't even get away from you. Yeah, here we all are.
And it really gave us an opportunity to, like, take a moment and be like, whoa, whoa, whoa, like, what. What are we doing?
Why are we having all this conflict? The conflict actually had a lot to do. One with the kids and two, with work. Like, we were both working like crazy people. Kids are running around all the day. And I think ultimately we were moderately unhappy with our living situation as well, and we just didn't know how to get out of it.
[00:09:14] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:09:14] Speaker C: And so when the pandemic happened, it. I mean, it, like, put a full. Like, full stop. Like, here we are, we're stuck.
We're gonna figure this out. And the only way he and I could really, like, escape the kids or the things was to go for walks.
[00:09:31] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:09:32] Speaker C: Started walking, and we were walking miles, like, to get out of the house just to get. And that actually led to conversation. It led to, what are we doing? Where do we want to go? We've gotten ourselves on this track that we feel like this isn't really what we want to do.
And so, yeah, it led to a lot of deeper level conversation about, okay, well, what. What is the next 10, 15 years? Looks like at that point in time, too. The kids were not babies anymore. They're, you know, elementary school aged. We're looking at, like, okay, as they're going to go into junior high and high school. That's, you know, at some point we will be back together, just the two of us again. Right. What that look like? Yeah, so that's. That was kind of our come to Jesus moment in our marriage.
We've both. We both believe, obviously, in therapy. We both did individual therapy. We've done couples therapy, which, funny enough, like, one was very successful and really positive, and one was an absolute train wreck.
[00:10:44] Speaker A: It can be kind of a crapshoot.
[00:10:47] Speaker C: So that was kind of us and sort of what we had happen. I can tell you what happened to some of my friends, colleagues, things like that, who did have that, like, who are, like, legitimately roommates. They are the people that you hear about, like, oh, we, you know, we haven't had sex in four years, or we, you know, we really live absolute parallel lives. You can do it for a long time.
[00:11:13] Speaker A: You can. But I think, you know, what ends up happening to a lot of people is you don't really realize maybe how disconnected you are. And then an opportunity for attention comes into the mix. And it's not, I think that at least you know, what I hear from my clients. It's not really until someone starts giving you that attention that you're kind of like, oh my gosh, it's a mirror for how disconnected you've been in your relationship or how lonely you feel. And I think people don't realize how weak and susceptible their relationships are at that point to things like infidelity or relationship betrayal, which you do a lot of work around too.
[00:11:54] Speaker C: Yeah. So we live in a society too, that makes infidelity very, very, very easy. Like all we gotta do is pick up our phone and say hi to somebody on the Internet. It can start as, oh, I'm just reconnecting with an old friend or somebody that I, you know, went to college with or whatever it's going to be. And then, yes. And we get huge hits of dopamine and serotonin when people pay attention to us.
[00:12:21] Speaker A: Oh yeah, it feels good.
[00:12:24] Speaker C: Like, I mean it is, it is legitimately a drug, but just, oh, for sure. The whole body floods right up and you're like, I feel alive. I feel violent, vibrant. I feel seen, energized. Energized. This person gets me like nobody else has ever gotten me before. And when you've been in a long term relationship, typically you get in this space of forgetting what that like, initial connection was. Like.
[00:12:57] Speaker A: Right.
[00:12:58] Speaker C: When we start dating someone, you get about six months of like all the love, hormones and all the good stuff. Oh, I feel great. Which bonds you to the person.
[00:13:07] Speaker A: Exactly.
[00:13:07] Speaker C: Well, you typically don't have that happen for the rest of your relationship. You are primary. They become your primary attachment person. You are, you know, it's calm for the most part. It's safe, secure, but you're not getting.
[00:13:22] Speaker A: Big hits, the excitement.
[00:13:24] Speaker C: So when you go and somebody makes a nice comment to you or is starting to pay more attention or even getting in your like, proximity, like spatial space, you're, you're like, oh, bright shiny object.
And you can get off to the races really, really quickly. And it is typical, I would say men, you know, men lean into the more physical types of relationships. That, that feels really, really good. Women tend to lean into more of the emotional relationships. That's where they get their charge from. If, you know, a man or a woman is, you know, giving them a lot of positive praise. And that's how, that's how quickly you can go yeah, down the path almost all of the time. When I counsel couples around infidelity, what the hardest piece is to learn is the hurt partner thinks that they did something wrong or bad or made this happen. And what you have to help them understand it was really about the person that was having the affair. It was about what that was going on for them and separating. Yes, there could be relationship problems, there could be all kinds of things, but it was really about what was happening for them and not actually what was going on between the two of them.
[00:14:54] Speaker A: I don't know. When I'm working with a couple, I take a little bit of a different approach. I mean, once you're in that immediate crisis phase, and I walk people through kind of a disclosure and so that the betrayed partner has all of the information. And down the line, once the dust is settled, I do encourage both people to take a look at what role they may have played in creating conditions that made the relationship susceptible to infidelity.
And that's really hard, I think, for someone who's been betrayed. And so while I would never, from the get go say it's, you know, that person's fault. And I mean, it's not like they were held a gun to their head. I mean, at the end of the day, yes, the person who stepped out made a poor choice and did a wrong thing and broke the relationship commitment, yada, yada. But most of the time when people cheat, it's because there is, you know, long term emotional neglect, long term sexual neglect, you know, or other kinds of relationship conflict that the couple has struggled to deal with. And so I, I just think it's important down the line to, to look at the relationship as a whole and what each person may have been doing to contribute to some of the weakness, if anything. Sometimes there's nothing there. But I think it's always worth examining.
[00:16:16] Speaker C: Yeah, I think I agree that all, you know, all relationships should at some point in time probably head themselves to a couple's therapist, even if the house is not on fire yet.
[00:16:29] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:16:30] Speaker C: As you well know, most of the time the people that end up in our office are the houses on fire. Yeah. So if they had come when maybe they were like, oh, you know, that thing doesn't feel so great, or hey, we're noticing a pattern of doing X, Y, Z, like, let's get this kind of nipped and figured out, it would save a lot of hurt down.
[00:16:53] Speaker A: And I think all couples periodically need to kind of do just a health check of their relationship, reevaluate whether they hold the same values, beliefs, expectations that they had, you know, when they first got together. Especially if it's been a long time since, since they've gotten together. I think what happens is that we start taking each other for granted. We're not really paying attention to each other anymore. Things happen, you know, just I think to us as individuals in terms of our personal evolution, things happen in our lives that maybe we can't anticipate, that maybe means that we don't handle things the way we thought we would, or we have an unexpected hurdle that we have to cross. And a couple doesn't really spend a lot of time reevaluating whether the tools they've used historically are going to work moving forward. And I think that's what leads a lot of couples to these periods of disconnection.
[00:17:46] Speaker C: Yeah, I would say the biggest glaring one for most couples is parenthood.
[00:17:53] Speaker A: Oh yeah.
[00:17:54] Speaker C: I mean, and my husband tells people all the time they're about to have babies. He's like, the biggest shift is not one to two kids, it's zero to one kid. It is life changing. Like they let you bring home a tiny human that you are now responsible for.
[00:18:11] Speaker A: Right.
[00:18:12] Speaker C: For most couples, like they've never raised a tiny human before. All of the things come up, like all of the things, like their own stuff from their childhood, their philosophy on parenting, how they think this kiddo should be, their connection to the kiddo can be different. Like, I mean they, you know, and so that, that is a major shift for couples for sure. Which is why my husband has always jokes about the fact that he just blacked out.
[00:18:41] Speaker A: Like, forget it. Yeah, I mean, I think it's the Gotman. I think it's the Gotmans who say that relationship satisfaction declines by like 75% after you have kids. When they're in that like baby and little kid phase of life, it's just really freaking hard.
[00:18:57] Speaker C: Yeah, it is. It is unreal. And my sister and brother in law right now are in the throes of tiny human land where they have a 2 year old and then they have twin 4 year olds with them. And we're kind of sitting back and watching it. I was like, oh, dude, I, I love myself a tiny human, but man, like that is exhausting. Like, and so when you're both drained, both emotionally but also physically, like, it is really, really hard.
[00:19:32] Speaker A: Yeah. The relationship is going to suffer.
[00:19:34] Speaker C: Yeah. It makes it exponentially harder to connect. Yeah. Physically and or emotionally. Just taking the time to say, oh, hey, we need to spend some time on us. Because if.
[00:19:48] Speaker A: Yeah, and I think that's what a lot of couples don't realize is just how hard you have to freaking work to keep your relationship on track, especially when you go through the life change of parenthood.
[00:20:02] Speaker C: Yeah, it is, it is one of the things that, like, you know, people ask us a lot of time and we, we had a lot of help. We were very blessed to have his parents actually lived down the street from us. My parents wanted to be involved.
We had an extra set of hands in terms of babysitters and things like that because we both recognized that we needed space from the kiddos. And now that they're older, like, our oldest is now 16, like, she can drive. It actually creates a lot more time and a lot more freedom.
[00:20:40] Speaker A: Oh, yeah, that's a game changer.
[00:20:42] Speaker C: And I feel like, go away for a weekend. She's a very responsible 16 year old, so we have a lot of trust there. But once you can get back into that, you're like, oh, yeah, I really do like you. I like hanging out with you. I like us just as people and not as parents, per se.
[00:21:04] Speaker A: So what. Tell me a little bit more about your advice to couples who are needing to recalibrate. Whether it's coming up for air after having kids or finding that they've gone three years without having sex, or finding that they haven't stopped fighting for the past two years and are on the verge of a divorce. Like, tell me where you start with couples who are just at that level of disconnection. What, what hope do they have to reconnect and what's your approach?
[00:21:33] Speaker C: First and foremost, I always tell people like you, you have a choice to reconnect. Like, I get you could. You also have a choice to keep being angry at each other. I get it. And I'm sure you can give me a hundred stories about why your partner is terrible.
Totally understand. But what, what we, what I personally try to do is have them start remembering a lot of the positives. What do you actually like about your partner? What does work between you guys? Where, where are their strengths? Where, you know, where do you see them really excelling? And then having them actively continually point that out to their partner. Yeah. That you're not always pointing out, oh, this is wrong, or this is what we're not doing, or this.
Those are. For my couples that tend to be real combative.
For my couples that tend to be more just straight disconnected and don't remember each other or don't really know each other anymore. It's how do we. What can we do in our day to day to create more time together? Whether that's, you know, I personally, this. The walking thing is huge. It is such an underrated. I love that thing. You can go for a walk around the block. You can strap the kids in a stroller. There's a lady that puts her kid in the Hot Wheels and the kid like, yeah, just walk. And the kid is literally driving around. Walk. Really cute.
But that is a great time to connect. It's an easy way to connect. You don't actually have to make eye.
[00:23:06] Speaker A: Contact and it keeps the nervous system balanced because you're moving and the energy is flowing.
[00:23:12] Speaker B: The Anatomy of Desire audiobook is finally here and I am so excited to offer you a sneak peek. Listen up for a 40 second preview. If you like what you hear, be sure to order it on audible or wherever you listen to audiobooks. And don't forget, audiobook purchases are also eligible for all the free bonuses on my website. Visit anatomyofdesire.com after completing your purchase for all the details. Enjoy the sample.
[00:23:39] Speaker D: I started paying closer attention to the language my clients were using to describe the sex. They wanted words like effortless, absorbed, and electric stood out.
They wanted to feel lost in the moment, forgetting their woes and insecurities.
I spent hours poring over client notes, going back through sessions in my head and listening to people with the larger questions in mind.
What were we all searching for in the erotic realm and was it realistically possible to attain?
And then it clicked.
They wanted to experience a state of flow.
[00:24:22] Speaker C: You're not on your phone so you're not distracted for the most part and like, checking in, like, hey, how is, how are things going at work? Who's, you know, who are you really, like, connecting with at work?
Making sure that we're keeping some tabs on some people that like, keep hearing about, you know, Bob. Right.
Things just to keep in mind, you know, doing things like that. Sean and I do something called Fancy Friday. So we have a lunch date every Friday and really incorporated that into our routine because we could go to lunch, basically have a date, not have to worry about a babysitter. Fridays are usually lighter days in terms of work. An hour, an hour and a half. And like, and that's our, you know, that's a date. Yeah. We don't have to worry about getting dressed up. We don't have to worry about all the things that come with a typical date.
[00:25:17] Speaker A: Right.
[00:25:17] Speaker C: But it gives us an hour and a half to just, you know, again, be Adults enjoy each other.
So my couples that are way far away on that one in terms of physical intimacy and trying to get that back on track, I definitely believe and start people out on, you know, the ten second kiss. If they're so far apart, we start with a 10 second hug, which is an eternity. The first time you do it, you're like, oh my God.
[00:25:42] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:25:44] Speaker C: But getting them to remember to be physically connected and like John Gottman says that, you know, that, that 10 seconds again, it starts to get those chemicals flowing.
[00:25:54] Speaker A: Right, right.
[00:25:56] Speaker C: You start feeling a lot closer, better, excited.
[00:26:00] Speaker A: Yeah, yeah.
[00:26:01] Speaker C: Do that on a, on a daily basis to get trained, sort of back on the tracks.
[00:26:07] Speaker A: Yeah, I mean, that physical touch is so important. We know there was a study that came out a few years ago that found that even for people who don't value physical touch or who are self proclaimed, like not touchy feely people, that making them intentional about touch had all these positive benefits, including increased relationship satisfaction, increased sexual desire, increased sexual satisfaction, and that it's sustained over time. So, you know, again, I think that's one of those things that happens. Of course, if you're fighting all the time, you're probably not snuggling up on the couch. If you're completely emotionally disconnected, you're probably not snuggling on the couch. And so I think a lot of couples, you know, especially when you have little kids and you're just feeling touched out, just aren't touching each other enough. And what I always remind my couples is, you know, you can't expect to have this great sex, you know, if you haven't even touched each other at all in the last week. It's like trying to run a marathon when you've only walked around the block a couple times. Like, it's just not enough. Those pathways aren't primed enough to make that jump.
One thing I do with couples sometimes when there's like a really long period of disconnect or a really long period of conflict or even, you know, after a big relationship, betrayal is kind of symbolically like kill the relationship as it was and work with them on giving birth to a completely new relationship. And while I think for the average person listening, that may sound overly simplistic or idealistic, I am such a believer in the power of ritual. And I think if we are wanting to stay committed to someone for a long period of time, we are going to have different iterations of our relationship in that time. And when there's been a big period of discovery, disconnect, for whatever reason that is. Sometimes it's about, you know, kind of making the choice to let bygones be bygones. You know, making a promise not to bring up old resentments and just starting fresh and recommitting to each other in a way that is going to make sense for whatever season of life you're in. Because it might look very different than it did in the early days. And I would just love to hear your thoughts on that.
[00:28:21] Speaker C: Yeah, I really, I really believe in that.
From after infidelity for sure. Like, your relationship will. Is not the same after that happens. And if you choose together, like, you know, it. It. It has to be a different relationship.
[00:28:38] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:28:39] Speaker C: You have this thing that is now part. It doesn't make bad. It's just gonna be different. Yeah. And yeah, I really do believe in the idea of reset. And again, like, who we were in our 20s is not necessarily who we are in our 30s.
[00:29:00] Speaker A: Right.
[00:29:00] Speaker C: And definitely not who we are in our 40s.
[00:29:03] Speaker A: No.
[00:29:04] Speaker C: Especially women in particular.
You know, we. We get the joys of hormones.
[00:29:10] Speaker A: Yeah. Yeah.
And anybody love the positive spin you put on that.
[00:29:18] Speaker C: It really changes us as women. Yeah. For all those decades. It does. And so if you can one, if. If more men could understand that, like, your wife is a very different human hormonal at 20 than she is at 40. Not a bad thing. It's just a different thing. How do you approach somebody differently? And hopefully too, as we age and grow, we are understanding ourselves better, which means we're going to approach the world differently.
[00:29:47] Speaker A: Right.
[00:29:48] Speaker C: Again, right. Things that I didn't know in my 20s, that I now know in my 40s, like, I'm. I just approach it differently. So my spouse has to hopefully join me in that. Vice versa, the way he's going to view the world, like, okay, I can get on board with that, or ooh, that's a really tough thing that you've now decided that you wanted to do. Right. How do we. How are we going to shift our relationship to continue to have it grow and flourish?
[00:30:16] Speaker A: Exactly, exactly. And I think this is where those adaptability skills come into play, because I think so many people have a set it and forget it attitude, as one of my clients said, like, they find a way that things worked and they just keep doing that thing, expecting it to continue to work. And what we have to do is remain really curious about our partner through their evolution and think outside the box about how we can grow as a couple to keep up with some of the changes that are happening. And I Really, I fall back on that word grow as much as possible. I think a lot of times people think they're trying to change each other in a relationship. I'm like, let's take that word change out of our vocabulary and instead let's talk about how you're growing as a couple. And I don't know, I'm just a stickler for semantics. And I think the words we use make a big difference and how we approach problem solving.
[00:31:08] Speaker C: I love the word that you just use as curious. I use that one a lot. Like, I'm curious about this thing that you said.
Much better than why the BBD beep did you say that?
[00:31:22] Speaker A: Right?
[00:31:23] Speaker C: One, it's a lot softer. And two, then you're. You're trying to gain understanding. And when somebody feels like you are trying to understand them, they are much more open typically to again, growing with you and with them. Yeah, I love the word curious. Like, get curious about your spouse.
[00:31:43] Speaker A: Yeah, you have to curious. So what, what hope would you say there is for couples who are recovering from something big like infidelity? What. What do you notice? What is your approach?
[00:31:56] Speaker C: So that one, you know, and I have a huge heart for anybody that's gone through that, because it is definitely marriage changing. It's relationship changing.
And first and foremost, like it is, it is not a death sentence to your relationship. I think so many of us are like, you know, oh, they cheated once. Cheater, always a cheater. That's the end, like, and done and what we don't think about. And second of all, most people treat infidelity like the plague. They don't want to talk about it. They don't want to look at it. They want to pretend that that actually happens to other people. It does not happen to them. Yeah, there's a ton of shame around it for sure.
And so I just want to encourage couples that, one, you absolutely can recover from infidelity. You 100% and you can come out better again because it's growth and change. And if you guys commit to the growth and the change in a positive way, like, your relationship can be different and better.
So I have a huge heart for it. I tell people, like, it's also not. It takes time to heal from it. Yes, I understand that we would all like to heal from it in, like several months and have it be over and done with, but that is not actually how it works. It takes a.
It takes a long time to heal from it, and that's okay.
Again, if you can just keep working at it, then you will get to the place where you want to, where you will feel healed and you will whole again.
[00:33:41] Speaker A: Yeah, totally. I think what people need to remember is, you know, there's any going through a major relationship betrayal is a traumatic experience and we treat it like we would someone having gone through any other kind of major trauma. And it takes time to do the trauma work. It takes time to begin to forgive the person and it takes a really long time for trust to build again. But you can do those things, I think with a lot of intention and collaboration.
[00:34:11] Speaker C: Yes, I would definitely recommend for and I, I fully agree with you in terms of the hurt partner having gone through a trauma for sure.
And, and making sure that you get a support system in place and both individually and as a couple so that you all working on your parts.
[00:34:30] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:34:31] Speaker C: To get to that healing place.
[00:34:34] Speaker B: Right?
[00:34:35] Speaker C: Yeah.
[00:34:36] Speaker A: Yeah, for sure. Well, Stephanie, thank you so much for joining me today. This is such a great conversation. I know one that so many couples will relate to. Where can people learn more about you and follow your work at steph flood.
[00:34:50] Speaker C: Of love.com and same on the Instagram Steph Flood of love.
[00:34:56] Speaker A: Awesome. I'll be sure to link everything in the show notes. It was great chatting and I hope we connect again soon. Yeah.
[00:35:02] Speaker C: Thank you so much for having me.
[00:35:04] Speaker B: Thanks again for listening to Love in Libido with me, your host, Dr. Emily Jamia. If you enjoyed today's episode, be sure to subscribe and drop me a five star review. Positive ratings help keep the show going. Don't Forget to visit emilyjamia.com to see how you can access dozens of free bonuses when you purchase my new book, Anatomy of Desire, currently available everywhere books are sold. Additionally, you can follow me across all the social media channels. R emilyjamia, thank you for listening.
